Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
he had hair everywhere except his balls
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
