Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
