Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Randomize
