Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
