Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
