so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
