Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
