and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
