I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
