You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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