I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
