We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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