my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
