My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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