woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize