The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
