I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
