well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize