Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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