i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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