I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
