Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
