So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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