so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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