did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
