hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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