just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
