carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You were trust falling into bushes
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
