a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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