direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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