He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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