shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
