that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
MIDGETS
????
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize