She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Shame is for Republicans.
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