wat bout pragnant strippers??
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
