U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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