I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
