He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you win again, gameday.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize