Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
