things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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