We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize