i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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