quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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