just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
