he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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