You're completely useless in the revolution.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
