Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
