HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
