there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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