guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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