seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
