it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
BRING THE BAGELS
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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