im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
