am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
