Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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