We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
