Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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