whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
