Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
