Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
