One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
