just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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