wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
