I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
