He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
