I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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