they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
