I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize