I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize