That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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