I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
