Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
