you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
