There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
