Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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