i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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