Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
