Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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