on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
