HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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